Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.

Your responsibility to be ready for the fight, never ends.

You know regardless of anything else in my life, there is the fact that I don't back down and i won't leave a fight half finished.. I will see it thru to the end... i don't even know anything more but the battle and this war.. i don't know or understand how to stand down when the battle is half over and I can go back to a somewhat normal state of being.. my defense mechanism's are still in full effect and regardless of everything i think I'm still looking over my shoulder expecting another attack to destroy me.. even tho she stands on vapour trails the only way i will ever know peace is to see this thru to the end.. because there has to be an end.. someday. Three years of fighting, and what do i have? at least i've had some good experiences and oppurtuinities but it seems like i am trying to go back to someone i once was.. yet that person doesn't and has never existed, there has always only been the warrior, there always only been me... there has only been the battle and the scars... i can remember being happy but i don't know how to feel it anymore.. i'm moving forward yet somehow still standing still... i want to go back to my life.. but i know it is forever changed by another's actions... i need to see this thru to the bitter end and finish the fight... but i am having trouble adjusting to the reality of being a free man, I've been a prisoner for far too fucking long... it's nice to be a free man but it's even nicer knowing at this moment that i have the advantage in the battle... which shouldn't even be happening... I'm sick of fighting... but I'll fight until I'm six feet deep if that what it takes... there is no compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon....never. and I've faced down Armageddon and survived... scarred but still standing, waiting for the last battle. the last moment in this war.. whenever the fucking thing comes.

Current Mood: Tired
Current Music: Asshole, Eminem.

The fight isn't over until you win.

It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill.

Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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