Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.

Your responsibility to be ready for the fight, never ends.

You know regardless of anything else in my life, there is the fact that I don't back down and i won't leave a fight half finished.. I will see it thru to the end... i don't even know anything more but the battle and this war.. i don't know or understand how to stand down when the battle is half over and I can go back to a somewhat normal state of being.. my defense mechanism's are still in full effect and regardless of everything i think I'm still looking over my shoulder expecting another attack to destroy me.. even tho she stands on vapour trails the only way i will ever know peace is to see this thru to the end.. because there has to be an end.. someday. Three years of fighting, and what do i have? at least i've had some good experiences and oppurtuinities but it seems like i am trying to go back to someone i once was.. yet that person doesn't and has never existed, there has always only been the warrior, there always only been me... there has only been the battle and the scars... i can remember being happy but i don't know how to feel it anymore.. i'm moving forward yet somehow still standing still... i want to go back to my life.. but i know it is forever changed by another's actions... i need to see this thru to the bitter end and finish the fight... but i am having trouble adjusting to the reality of being a free man, I've been a prisoner for far too fucking long... it's nice to be a free man but it's even nicer knowing at this moment that i have the advantage in the battle... which shouldn't even be happening... I'm sick of fighting... but I'll fight until I'm six feet deep if that what it takes... there is no compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon....never. and I've faced down Armageddon and survived... scarred but still standing, waiting for the last battle. the last moment in this war.. whenever the fucking thing comes.

Current Mood: Tired
Current Music: Asshole, Eminem.

The fight isn't over until you win.

It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill.

Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog