Skip to main content

RAGE VI

The best fighter is never angry.

At the Moment i am angry because of many reason's starting with the fact that I found out today that regardless of anything i've done or any victories this year... i will still miss christmas yet agian with my son because the stupid fucking lawyer delayed things till fucking january... that is unacceptable and will be dealt with shortly.. but as usual All i have is anger and the sad fact to fuckign remind me that another year, another birthday, another holiday with family has been taken away from me.. what the fuck is the point of fighting when it is a contuininual struggle just to fucking survive... ten plus fucking years of this shit.... and all i do is stand agianst her, like a fucking rock, never moving an inch, but never getting ahead and doing the great things i wanted to do with my life... i had dreams, i had plans, you attempted to stop them but you can't but before i can move on i need to deal with having him back by my side and away from your lies... it dfoesn't help i've got stresses in my life like the fucking jabroni that can't afford the rent and plays games by borrowing all of my extra money and shit... and the idiot with all the transformers that has forgotten to pay me too many fucking times.... i am distancing myself from all that shit but not until i get what's mine and owed... the biggest annoyance right now is while i have something safe and secure for myself for the near future i am being pressured to move and find something nicer for me and a family member, I don't mind the idea but the stressful part is dealing with these fucking idiots in this city who don't even bother allowing applications and play games vieiwing places... i have responsibilities that involve my extra money and i am trying to do right by the people that have had my back in the last years, but i feel so fucking stretched thin right now all i want to do is say fuck it and run away, go home to Windsor, leave here become someone else agian, All hamilton and Niagara has ever given me is Misery, Why the hell am I still here? My anger and Rage fuels me, but sometimes when it's all I have and the darker edges of my life stand exposes, it's cold comfort to the fact i have sacrificed almost everything and I am contuining to sacrifice. and what the fucking hell for? for eventual victory? to beat her? she can't destroy me anymore than i have ever wished to destroy her, I just seek the end.

Current Mood: Angry, Depressed.
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more