One Word: Vindication.

Everything comes to he who waits... and I have waited so very long for this moment.

And another Ending to a very long part of my life is over, and as much as i hate the system and the way it works, this is a beginning and obviously there is still one final ending to come because one battle does not mean this is over.. but it does give me some peace and possibly some finality... i do expect that this isn't going to be the end of this because there is some loose ends to deal with, but the hell of the last three years and the fact that you have destroyed everything else that was important to me to destroy the relationship i have with my son, well as of today that's no longer something you have destroyed, 3 and a half years of anger, hate and depression were worth it, one thing i am very glad is that i never made a decision to leave the province, i have thought about it, but the reality is as long as i have the responsibility of being a father and he's here.. I'm here... if he's not i will follow you to ends of the fucking earth to find him... you'd have to still kill me to be done with me.. but today i am feeling a lot less destroyed.. i do plan on being more aware and more of an activist for children's and parent's rights when i go back to work.. but for now i am just enjoying the moment and looking forward to what comes next.. because all there that is left is to finish the fucking war... and watch you lose.

Current Mood: Happy.

What is your idea of earthly happiness? To be vindicated in my own lifetime.

The only kinds of fights worth fighting are those you’re going to lose, because somebody has to fight them and lose and lose and lose until someday, somebody who believes as you do wins.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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