Today was another move forward and whatever reservations i had at the door when i walked in, they were left at the door, this has never been about me or the anger that is felt towards me, this only about my son and what he has had to endure the last 4 years and whatever damage that has been done to his fragile little pysche it has not been done at my hands. the only thing i need to do is to apply pressure in the right direction to some people i think are not doing all they can do and letting stall tactics be the order of the day because they are complacent and drawing money from it, and watch the things that need to happen, happen, all i can do is be truthful and open and discuss my pain and my life and my reasons and decisions for doing things even when i have made some mistakes and I do have regrets, No one is perfect and in a lot of ways I could have been better, but i know at the end of the day, even in my darkest of days, there is a little light inside of me, one that will always fight for what it is right, it's not about anything but that, that innocent soul that has been torn for me for far too long, No child should be used as pawn agianst the other parent ever. this is the last step and while it is taking longer than I expect there are very few doors that she can hide behind, and after today i very much feel that this is one less door to be hidden behind, it was a positive experince, naturally i don't trust anyone in the system and i remain skeptical, but it seems that whatever issues and indecision i had beforehand about dealing with this are in the past, I will never trust anyone in the system uncondontionally but any time i can walk out of a meeting regarding the past and/or the last four years and have positive energy regarding it rather than dark, black and red rage.... It's a good day... we will see what the answer is soon, but this is an open door to the ending, it's time for the vooice that has not been heard in the proceedings to be heard... and that voice is not mine.
Current Mood: Positive
Truth has it's end, but a Lie will fall forever.
The most important thing is this: to sacrifice what you are now for what you can become tomorrow.
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