It's time for the next evolution and the next step, whatever's that's going to be. But If I need to put pressure and give you a reason to fear me I will, and at this point I have that reason. I'm sick of the world I live and the choices I am fucking forced to make to survive, I deal with a lot if fucking regret because of choices that were never fucking mine. I should not be looking backwards agian at this point in my life, but that's on you, you have made the choice since day one of our sons life to destroy my life thru extension of his life and the fact you know me heart and soul that I would never walk away... Forget relationships, employment, any options that make me content, as long as there is a gaping wound in my chest of his absence I will never be complete, and you know and understand that, intimately. That being said anything that cones next, that's on you... I'm long since stopped playing the chess game with you, and I'm just waiting for it to end.... Look into my eyes and all you will see and understand is the hatred I have for you and the games that you play... I had options, I had choices, but that was a lifetime ago, I was a different fucking person in a different place, the person I am today, the angry monster, the warrior that will not go down, that's your creation, that's your nightmare... You took away my future a long time ago with your choices so all I am left with is ice cold reality. I'm fine with that, the line in the sand was drawn a long time ago, I made my choice... I chose my destiny, I knew just how much sacrifice it would entail and continue to entail... This is how it continues, this is how it ends if it ever ends, which is fucking doubtful, as long as you can find a fresh spot on my back to continue to stick the knife in.., guess I'll have to oblige you and let you watch me bleed... But I won't let you ever see my fall. I hate being depressed and forced into a corner, but when you put a desperate man into a corner, that's what makes him dangerous, and given that it's a place that is very familiar to me, like it or not... I can become very dangerous. I'm already unpredictable, I'm already angry... Let's see what happens when your current choices box me into a corner.,,, there is only so much respect for the system, for the law that I actually have... Let's see what happens when I snap, when it's time to box you into a fucking corner.
I know exactly what you have taken away from me, and regardless of if and when things change, we will always live with the burden of years lost. That's on you cunt, that will always be on you.
I'm fed up with fighting and losing every dime that I have to come up with because that's what you leave me with... Nothing... It's a pattern, over and over agian, I sacrifice everything I own, everything I've worked for, every part of me, you want to destroy, anything that means anything to me you want to tear away... Yet I'm still here, I'm still standing... Because, he's more important than I am, because I will give everything up, even my mortal soul, they are all meaningless, the one thing I won't give up is my son... And I will find a way, every fucking time... Even if it means I'm starving and fighting from the bowels of hell....if its me agianst the world so be it, nothing new to me, just as long as me agianst the world, means me against you, I don't have a problem with that.
Current Mood: Anger, Depression.
Current Music: Worth Fighting For, Judas Priest
You think that there are the good people and the bad people. You are wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.
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