The Chess Game V: The Final Move.

Rather than the strength it takes to not lose, it's the strength to stand back up after a loss that is sometimes more valuable.

Are you fucking kidding me? Days after his thirteenth birthday you're playing ball? There's no reason to read anything into that. It's time to move forward, but I have my fucking reservations. You're timing is fucking suspect and I'm not surprised. It's just another move of the pawns in the fucking game. I don't trust it. I'm fed up with the wars and the battles. Everything is just another chess move, and any games played esp around Xmas are a sign of how truly pathetic that you are. It's all game to you and if you had any soul at all it would not have come to this. This is the final end game, and there are very few moves left in your arsenal to play. but of course you are going to attempt to play everyone of them... of course, i still have my trump cards to play, you might think youre unpredictable, but youre not... your timing is suspect and this is still and always will be just a game... youre tactics suck, but it's time now for me to start counting the moves to checkmate, to the end... and it is no longer far away. despite how much youre mental mindgames seek to delay the ineviatable, just remeber, i taught you how to play the game.. and i'm much fucking better at the damn thing than you are.

Current Mood: Angry.

We all do our duty when there's no cost to it. Honor comes easy then. But sooner or later, in every man's life, there comes a day when it is not easy. A day when he must choose.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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