I am uncomfortable with the fact i feel I am being bullied to decision that is not the correct path for me or my child because another person does not have my interests or my child's at heart, only his own. I am unsure of the reasons but I do know that the longer i consider it, the longer i am convinced it is not the correct course of action, and that it is being done for selfish reasons and it is no longer likely that i will agree to it. i believe that it leaves with fewer options that before and leaves me and this entire case vulnerable.. as much as i am prepared for this to end badly, i do not feel that making the decision to end this as it stands now will have anything other than an adverse effect on my case and my life and i do not trust the person pressuring me into making this decision, I need to consider options and decide for myself.. I have lost faith in the process a long time ago... because the process simply does not work... but this is the first time I can ever say, on the eve of battle, the days and nights before a final war, that I have lost all faith and hope... and that is not something that marks a weakness, that simply makes me more dangerous, because the things that had kept the anger and emotion at bay are slowly being stripped away, And now I feel that all hope is gone.. it makes me a desperate man, willing to do desperate things... those that cross me or attempt to manipulate me to their own ends would do well to remember that, this was all that i had to live for.. and if that's stripped away from me even momentarily I have other options, it's time, on reflection to consider some of them...
Current Mood: Confusion.
If i thought i was replying to someone who would every return to the world, this flame would cease it's flickering. But since no one has returned from these depths alive, if what I've heard is true, I will answer you without fear of infamy.
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