Skip to main content

Dehumanizer

How everything you ever love will reject you or die.
Everything you ever create will be thrown away.
Everything you're proud of will end up as trash.
I am Ozymandias, king of kings.


It figures, the system is still broken and so much as i have chosen to walk away from my own personal battles i still find myself in dealing with this so called counselling.. which in reality is just another layer of pyschobabble that will accomplish nothing important, merely placate the powers that be that I'm less of threat than I used to be... First off wrong.. you can strip everything from me, My heart, my soul, my reasons for being... i'm still going to have my mind... as long as I have that i'm fucking dangerous... you can't ever strip that completely away from me no matter how much damage is inflicted on my Psyche. I'm just not dangerous in the way that you expect me to be.. i may have been silenced but my mind is still there with clarity and i still have goals and plans in this life to make change both for myself and those that come after me. it frustrates me to be going thru the motions for something I didn't do, but I'm gritting my fucking teeth and dealing with it so i can enjoy the rest of my life and not have it be yet another albatross around my fucking neck like a noose. it just shows how the system is designed for people to fail.. when you're meant to feel like less than nothing... one would rather be in a fucking box... i didn't have to deal with my fucking feelings there.. and i didn't get slapped in the face by my core ideals being roasted on an open fire, i'm not going to change how i feel and think about certain things even if the world has changed on me.

Current Mood: Angry.

Talking about one's feelings defeats the purpose of having those feelings. Once you try to put the human experience into words, it becomes little more than a spectator sport. Everything must have a cause, and a name. Every random thought must have a root in something else.

Listen up - there's no war that will end all wars.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...