Skip to main content

Options...

I'm getting real sick of the ongoing pity party. The fact that behaviours aren't changing and are getting worse isn't a good sign. I wouldn't tolerate this abuse from a fucking woman.  I am seriously reevaluating things here as much as I don't fucking want to. I have to think of my own mental health and no one is allowed to treat me like shit. I've cut people out of my life for less. It's time to think about that.


There is a reality that I may be taking care of someone for the rest of his life thanks to his behaviours and apathy, and it may likely start to become an even bigger money pit that it has already become. I have a family out there that is more important than this shit. I am slowly mentally distancing myself from being involved here. I have to just to protect myself.


The fact I am not appreciated for the things I do and that I am sacrificing my own mental health so that someone else can live comfortably is starting to piss me off. I don't know if this affects me being with my family or if that's just her latest justification for abandoning me again but at this point I wonder if the mood swings, the laziness and the apathy are worth being here and things remaining status quo. I have options. I can be somewhere else as I am constantly fucking reminded. But I'm here making sacrifices because that's the choice I'm making. He didn't abandon me in my moment of need, I won't in his. But the fact that it's turning into a constant real bad situation has me wondering if I shouldn't be on my own. No one gets to disrespect me, esp not someone I've sacrificed a lot for. This is why I'm not with her, this is why I'm not with the most recent one. This is the reason I may not be be here in a few months.


Eventually, one gets fed up. I am At a breaking point.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more