Skip to main content

A Fight I Must Win.


I think part of the problem is that the war is over, but neither of us will concede the battle is lost to the other. All we have lost is time together and the only thing keeping us apart is foolish pride on both sides, as usual.


There is nothing left

To fight except ourselves, and I'm no longer willing to ever fight that battle again or against.


There are other battles in my life to fight for those that Also, for once it isn't just you and me and fucking brick wall over my child. I have other loved ones too. I will fight for them just as hard and the hand that has always been a fist still knows how to hold a sword. I still know know everything I've ever learned about how to get help and justice for those that cannot completely take care of themselves. 


This may not have been my fate, but it is where I am now I won't abandon anyone that never abandoned me in my fights and battles. Sometimes some things are more important than matters of the heart and pipe dreams of returning to a life that resembles anything fucking normal.


This is about Loyalty.


I don't know how to back down, and I love to fight. This is a battle I must win, for once it's not about me. I can walk away anytime. I won't. I don't.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more