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The Hangover Part II


I don't need anyone but the ones that has alway have my back. It's interesting to see who says they are going to be there at the end and who truly fucking proves it. I know I have issues with alcohol, I don't argue that point it's why I only get completely stupid in moderation.


I had a good time and as usual I made memories that will last a fucking lifetime for someone who really matters in my life. And the biggest one wasn't even part of the weekend of drinking but it was definitely worth doing and I am hoping that the one that some days I claim to love above all others, and my son will be able to enjoy that experience soon for his 18th. We will see, I am growing colder and bitter on that front. But I don't need her vindication to have a good life, I never fucking have. I never fucking will. I enjoy my friends and my family and sometimes those lines blur. I'm just not going to be emotionally available anymore that doesn't have my back 100 percent.


I know I have a dark side, I know that it and alcohol are a bad mix. It's controlled. But I know that I'm a hard person to love and people fall behind so for The ones that have not, I appreciate that. The last year I have realized you can never look behind. 


I won't. Not anymore.


Sometimes I dwell in my darkness, sometimes, if there is a vodka bottle handy, I give into it, sometimes I glory in the fact that I am Terry fucking Funk, Middle Aged and Crazy. I know there are more days behind and less ahead. I am self destructive. I will have an sudden ending. But that day is not happening just yet so when the door opens I am going to enjoy myself and live.


I'm not going to sit and regret all the things I haven't done. I'm going to do everything and regret nothing. Good or bad.


I've lived. Not everyone truly does.


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