Haunted II: Memories

I choose my life right now, i choose my epic adventures. I am not going to sit around miserable feeling sorry for myself and apologizing for the things that i have lost in this life when It was never my actions that have caused them. this year I have been Sadly reminded of how fragile things can be, and one day all you will be left with is memories. thats why im trying to create as many as i can for those I love. for all of those I love. for some I just have to keep fucking trying and for others, my inner circle i just go with the flow and do the adventures that come along, thats where I am right now. Trying to enjoy my life and enhance others life so they can see there is more than just work to living. i've always lived. I've always had adventures. Money was never a hindrendrance to that. It still isn't. there are those that are memories because they couldnt handle that fact. but im going to live my life and be surrounded by those that matter. because all that truly matters are memories... and I'm still making them. thats how one truly lives. making memories.

good or bad, however the night goes... you'll remeber me when I'm gone. I made a impact.

Current Mood: Determined.

Current Music: Criminal, Britney Spears

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

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