Haunted II: Memories

I choose my life right now, i choose my epic adventures. I am not going to sit around miserable feeling sorry for myself and apologizing for the things that i have lost in this life when It was never my actions that have caused them. this year I have been Sadly reminded of how fragile things can be, and one day all you will be left with is memories. thats why im trying to create as many as i can for those I love. for all of those I love. for some I just have to keep fucking trying and for others, my inner circle i just go with the flow and do the adventures that come along, thats where I am right now. Trying to enjoy my life and enhance others life so they can see there is more than just work to living. i've always lived. I've always had adventures. Money was never a hindrendrance to that. It still isn't. there are those that are memories because they couldnt handle that fact. but im going to live my life and be surrounded by those that matter. because all that truly matters are memories... and I'm still making them. thats how one truly lives. making memories.

good or bad, however the night goes... you'll remeber me when I'm gone. I made a impact.

Current Mood: Determined.

Current Music: Criminal, Britney Spears

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

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