Skip to main content

Storytime.



We are an illusion. A fractured fucking fairy tale that worked once upon a time.  We come close but we aren’t back to that yet. This is still a chess game and you and I may be unpredictable. But we are also going to play this game forever unless one of us makes a choice and a gamble and some day soon.


And then there can be an end. Regardless. I am the one who does not have chaos in his life and that’s because I’ve made a choice for that to be the exact situation. I can walk away, anytime, I’ve chosen not to.  But i do answer the phone and listen to your drama. But I don’t think that this changes overnight or has a fairytale ending without it involving a lot of work. You’re not there yet. I’ve been waiting a long time for you to be and one day you might be where I am now. But you ain’t there yet. 


I hold no illusions to what we might have been. I just remember what we were and what we might be again. My reality is simply better than yours right now and I don’t allow drama or bullshit to affect it, and neither should you. But one of us needs to grow u and it isn’t me. 


As I’ve Always said to you, I’ll be here when you’re ready. But I don’t think you are yet. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.