Skip to main content

Cowgirl in the Sand.





Baby my life doesn't reach to you

And if you want love so

Unconditional and real

You gotta ride that black horse baby


Through the depths of hell that I've been

Follow me away yeah

I will be the same

Strongest one to name


I don’t sweat you anymore… the simple fact I can walk by all of our homes and feel nothing anymore but nostalgic for a life that never really was, I can live with that. I appreciate that we are civil enough to exchange pleasantries but the reality is I’m not part of your life and you’re not a part of mine. That’s the status quo and there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m not falling down the rabbit hole with no resolution Alice. 


But the fact I could offer coffee today is a consideration, I am glad I asked you. Our story isn’t over yet. However we both have other priorities and all I have left to give you is my word. But you have to fix you first same as I had to for myself before we fix each other. You’re not there yet. Maybe one day. But I don’t need you hurting and broken. Some things I can fix some I can’t. History will just repeat.  You need to love yourself first before you can love me. I know there is love and affection but right now you just need to know I’ll be there. 


That’s where I’m standing. You know what’s next. But you have too meet me there not halfway and not with half truths. 


It’s unconditional, but I remeber everything. That’s my curse. Forgiven will never mean completely Forgotten. As much as I love you and as much as I want to love you and have the little bit of what’s left as a family. We aren’t there yet. And just like Courtney said, my life doesn’t reach to you. Just my heart. You’ll always have that.

You are my family. It doesn’t matter where we stand between us. We will always be that. You gave me my child. I and no other man will always be his father even in your eyes. I’ll be here when wanted or needed. But that tie will never go away and you have acknowledged that. I’m just still trying to make us whole, but I need you whole First. I love you always. Unconditional. I’ll be here. Always. 


My life doesn’t reach to you tho. As much as i want it to to. Black Horse time Baby. Real soon. 

Happy Easter. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...