Skip to main content

The Weapon.

I like being big and bad. i like being intimidating to people. its like a suit of armor the same as my leather jacket is. people advoid me. Thats the perfect eay things should be. I like that people fear me. I'm both happy and sad that the people i intimidate and cause to fear me includes you, you've seen all sides of me and you have given yourself reasons to fear me. sadly while i understand i have never given you a damn reason to. 


the same hand that could be a weapon is also the hand that protects. But thats a comfort reserved for only when you need it, never when i fuckin do. thats the rules of engangement, thats how it fucking works. never the protector, except when you need someone bigger and badder in your life than the scary people who you surround yourself with. It's good that I'm that person. at least finally for once, i know exactly where i stand.


I moved on. you didn't. thats the saddest battle of our war. you destroyed the little bit of happiness i had without you because of jealousy so you could win the argument. 


I don't play you're stupid fucking games anymore. i live an entirely diffrent life and the gap between us cannot be anymore pronounced these days. 


you are simply an unhappy memory that continues to be a ghostly presense in my life because you won't let go. i don't know your agenda or if you even have a game plan, but at this point I dont care. 

He’s not afraid of your judgement
He knows of horrors worse than your Hell
He’s a little bit afraid of dying —
But he’s a lot more afraid of your lying

And the things that he fears
Are a weapon to be held against him…



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more