Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

I haven’t given up,  but there are days that hit harder than most and remind me of who I am and who I was, and why in moments my life changes over and over again. I know that sometimes those changes are bad and sometimes those changes are good. But the decision is always mine on how a man ends whatever moment in his life I am currently at. I’m choosing the moment I’m in right now as I have for the last four years because sometimes something’s gotta be more important than my needs and wants, a hard lesson I learned the hard way multiple times. But it was learned.  My life is an improvement because I’m not longer chasing vapours pretending to be something I’m not, or someone I once was that was stripped from me completely because of someone’s petty jealousy. Well watch my life now, the jealousy is deserved. I was always a rock star, now I’m just living like one. But the reality is I come home and all that is stripped from me, I know what my probities and responsibilities are and...

I can ruin my life all on my own. I don’t need anyones help. This next while is going to be a period of reflection and insight while I decide the next step of whatever the fuck i am going to do. I am choosing the life I should have had all along and I feel no guilt and give no fucks if I leave anyone hanging in my wake. Maybe if some had respected me more I wouldn’t be willing to steamroll my past lives and be whatever my current life is becoming. The saddest part is some of these people I’ve shared my life with over the years wouldn’t have have such shit lives with me involved in them, but betray me once… you are dead to me. There’s only one person I make an exception for that and I can keep pulling out the knives from my back from her. But people who aren’t good people can’t expect to do bad things and have good lives. I’m used to be broken and a misfit and loner. But I like my own life and my people. I’ll always figure out my own way and do cool things. Either follow beside me or fu...