Skip to main content

Just Like Me.


people may wonder why i'm fucking distant or i don't seem to care about certian fucking things as much as i should. newsflash there's only a few things i really and truly care about and it seems like currently they are systemactily taken away from me, nothing like opening your heart and soul up to someone years ago to someone who now contuinually uses a dagger to continue to ruip out the black peices of my soul. if you/her/sheshe truly understood me she would have never treated me the way she fucking does. if she truly loved her son she would not treat us the way she does. she is the reason that her son is growing up Just like I did, the diffrence is that She has a choice I did not growing up.

Current mood: Reflective.
Well my son turned six
just the other day
he said thanks for the ball Dad
come on let's play
can you teach me to throw
I said not today - I got a lot to do
he said that's o.k.
and he walked away and he
smiled and he said
you know I'm gonna be like him yeah
you know I'm gonna be like him

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.