Skip to main content

....And Justice for All, 2011.

While I am making an effort to enjoy my weekend and some of the free time afforded me, some of the darker aspects of the situation are starting to sink in, and when i look into the dark mirror of reflection, even tho i am innocent one starts to realize how easy it is in this world to be affected by the jackbooted gestapo of the military elite in blue and there wonderful partners in crime in the social services... there was a time and a place long ago I wanted to be a child and youth worker and work for a children aid wasn't there? Now it's the furthest thing from my mind, i couldn't imagine putting someone else thru the hell I'm currently going through, guilty until proven innocent, I can understand why the policiy is there and i can even fucking respect it, but there has to be a burden of proof and not just a crucifixition, oh wait... that's right Jesus never got a fair trial of his peers either, this shit hurts so fucking bad affecting me to the point i cant sleep during the day or the evening if at all... it's unfair when all i tried to be a good dad, and all I get is shit... because of my fucking asshole genetics... not all people are born bad... but try telling that to a sympathetic children's aid worker who belive everything the 70 grand a year mother says......I can't win... but i can keep my mouth shut when she's addressing something she can't use in court.. so from here on out, unless i choose to share it, my childhood is offlimits to them, it has no bearing on the man I am today. It may have shaped me, but I am not who I am because of those experinces, I am who I am because I survived those experinces.... And Justice For All.

Current Mood: Sad.
Current Music: Dyer's Eve, Metallica.
Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

Return To The Abyss.

If anyone thinks they can take advantage of me and the people I care about, they are sadly mistaken. I walk away from people I love because of their bullshit. Someone who is merely there in my life? Yeah, I’m fucking out. I don’t need emotional vampires that suck me dry in my life. I will walk away from anything and everything at this point. I no longer give a damn about anything other than myself when it comes to your opinion.  This decision and many others have been a long fucking time coming and to be honest I’m better off doing my own thing alone and solo. Because it’s better off for all involved. There’s still a temper and there is still the old me hidden underneath this attempt at seeking peace. I’m not a nice guy, I’ve never claimed to be a nice guy. And I’m not keeping my fucking mouth shut.  No one fucking uses me, Period. And thats all I’ve felt I’ve been over the last few years. By a number of people in my professional life and my personal life. So maybe at this mom...

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.