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Crucified Immortals.

The darkness inside of me and the Hate and anger is a part of me... it's what drives me.. it's something you could never understand... now it's the only thing i have to cling to... as my world is crumbling due to the actions of another... my heart and soul stolen.... and you know exactly what i mean.. and exactly what was taken.....everything....everything i am is gone...and freinds are another distant connection whom i have willingly walked away and away from agian and agian.... there is a reason i ran away to windsor and never looked back.... at least in windsor it's a world away and the system can't shackle and crucify me to be exactly what the planned for me.... for years i pretended i didn't have a past... and then one person decides she's going to use the knowledge and the half truths about what she knows about me to destroy me.... no judge, no jury, no conviction in a court of law.... just words.... her lies... and i'm dead inside..... there's nothing left of me... except that hate and anger i cling too....maybe if the knife hadn't dulled over the years...maybe if i had been a stone cold rock and not let people in like the original plan... i would be in a better place.... maybe i would be dead... maybe everything has a fucking reason and this is a learning experince.... all i know... is my biggest support, my best freind is there... just like he has been since '99.. always believing in me....everything about me is chipping away.... and there's no rock underneath.. not anymore.... i don't know who i am anymore... everything i used to define myself by.. gone....maybe you will read this maybe you won't.. but it needed to be said... someone asked me a while ago if i had any regrets.... i said one.......but i have No remorse, my life is what it has become... and i am still in control of my destiny.... i am not going anywhere...and i am going to end up a more militant critic of the system, I am going to become the voice of the voiceless... when this is all said and done and i am eventually vindicated... there is going to be a paradigm shift.

Current Mood: Depressed.
There are no absolutes in human misery and things can always get worse.

When I needed you most when I needed a friend, you let me down now like I let you down then

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