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Descent.

Sometimes it's easier to let the darkness creep in and overtake you or have the Void in your life complete embrace you and draw you down... I'm not that person, Yes I am getting Angreier and progessively darker towards my outlook on the world recently. But I am not dwelling on small things like some so called freinds that are pissing me off. I may hate the world, women and everything in it.. But i have some very valid fucking reasons for doing so.. Seeing freinds Whining about the situations they put themselves in like it's the end of the world, is a fucking joke... I cannot do anything about my situation because i am not the vindictive asshole that started that process, But I am fighting a war on 2 fronts for both the future of my child, my relationship with him and My soul. when i hear someone complaining about their pathetic little life and going woe is me, I'm going to harm myself because of fucking woman you've known a few days, It is increasingly clear to me that the bounds of freindship are straining and the fact that you are probaly not someone i need in my life and are becoming excess baggage, I know i'm empathetic and I feel for people more than i should, but i am starting to put up a fucking ice wall around myself and the people i truly care about because their are too many fairweather freinds of mine where the fact that I will Support them in time of need only goes one way.. the last few months have been very clear to me that i have way too fucking many fairweather freinds... and the fact that I am looking inward and I am deciding what to do with the rest of my life has me considering who is the wheat and who is the chaff. I know part of it, a lot of it actually has to do with Hamilton and after this victory has been won that may change as well, as I have no real ties here and there is no point in pretending that i do. but there are people i claim to be freinds with addiction issues and no real respect and are just Users and hanger's on.. at this point in my life... those are the kind of freinds I no longer need.... same as which any so called freinds that have not been supportive throughout this ordeal, my social group is changing and a Lot of people that once called themselves freinds are or soon will no longer be that.

Current Mood: Angry.
Some people protest carrying signs. Some people protest by making activist radical music. Sometimes people try to just make it through a day and not kill themselves, and that’s their activism for right then, because that’s all they have.

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