Skip to main content

Descent.

Sometimes it's easier to let the darkness creep in and overtake you or have the Void in your life complete embrace you and draw you down... I'm not that person, Yes I am getting Angreier and progessively darker towards my outlook on the world recently. But I am not dwelling on small things like some so called freinds that are pissing me off. I may hate the world, women and everything in it.. But i have some very valid fucking reasons for doing so.. Seeing freinds Whining about the situations they put themselves in like it's the end of the world, is a fucking joke... I cannot do anything about my situation because i am not the vindictive asshole that started that process, But I am fighting a war on 2 fronts for both the future of my child, my relationship with him and My soul. when i hear someone complaining about their pathetic little life and going woe is me, I'm going to harm myself because of fucking woman you've known a few days, It is increasingly clear to me that the bounds of freindship are straining and the fact that you are probaly not someone i need in my life and are becoming excess baggage, I know i'm empathetic and I feel for people more than i should, but i am starting to put up a fucking ice wall around myself and the people i truly care about because their are too many fairweather freinds of mine where the fact that I will Support them in time of need only goes one way.. the last few months have been very clear to me that i have way too fucking many fairweather freinds... and the fact that I am looking inward and I am deciding what to do with the rest of my life has me considering who is the wheat and who is the chaff. I know part of it, a lot of it actually has to do with Hamilton and after this victory has been won that may change as well, as I have no real ties here and there is no point in pretending that i do. but there are people i claim to be freinds with addiction issues and no real respect and are just Users and hanger's on.. at this point in my life... those are the kind of freinds I no longer need.... same as which any so called freinds that have not been supportive throughout this ordeal, my social group is changing and a Lot of people that once called themselves freinds are or soon will no longer be that.

Current Mood: Angry.
Some people protest carrying signs. Some people protest by making activist radical music. Sometimes people try to just make it through a day and not kill themselves, and that’s their activism for right then, because that’s all they have.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...