Skip to main content

..In the Crosshairs...

I am sick of fighting, sometimes I feel that being around people completely is my weakness, i can and will walk away one of these days... I'm sick of explaining to strangers my actions and choices and being expected to fucking deal with them, there is only one person i care about, i Am sick of placing other's that i care about because of someone's selfishness but the truth is I am the only one responsible for placing anyone in the cross hairs.. however... i am sick of feeling guilty when full disclosure and information was shared, only fucking god can judge me... Only He has ever seen the life I have lived and the Hell I have had to fucking experience.. My decisions are my own and I take full accountability for them, but sometimes it's better and the more honorable thing to walk away.. and i have options, I am not tied to being here... why should I be If it causes damage to both me, my son, my life and others. Sometimes the better thing is to walk away. Should have done it years ago and never looked back.. one foot in the past will end up one foot in the grave. I'm sick of fighting for everything I worked so hard to have, i can leave the province I can go home to windsor... What the fuck am doing here fighting battles for other people... there is no reason I should be fighting this battle alone, everyone I ever gives a damn about betrays me or dissapears anyways... I'm better off alone, the fucking Nomad warrior, the life i chose years ago.. putting down roots was idiotic... who the fuck am I to think my life will ever fucking change... It's just the same shit diffrent fucking day..it's the war I was bred for.. the war I have been fighting since my early childhood... but i should be fighting alone for me.. not with anyone else involved, I'm seriously considering walking away from it all.. maybe that's what i need to do.. but when I do it, It will be on my time and My Decision and not because of pressure by others who don't have the slightest idea of whats going on. Stand with me or stand against me.. either that or get the fuck out of my way.

Current Mood: Angry.
However bad a man, he will have some friends: however good, he will have some enemies.

Men of sense often learn from their enemies. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the lesson of building high walls and ships of war.

I have always paid attention to the merits of my enemies, and found it an advantage.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more