Skip to main content

Welcome to Hell

The situation has changed and while there is good news there is also bad news, I am currently in a position to make a person who deserves it life hell and I will destroy her peice by peice as she has taken everything in my life that was good and pure away from me... but right now I have to deal with the situation at hand.. I should be making decisions that effect myself and only myself and no one else, It's about one thing and one thing only... I need to fucking focus on that one goal.. being distracted by others selfish wants and needs and then having it explode in all of our faces and seeing that person making compromises the same way I did... that's not happening anymore... i am pissing off and annoying friends and family that are dear to me and that i need in my life.. In others people lives however.. I am simply fucking passing thru.... there is going to be some collateral damage and some people's emotions are bound to get damaged along the way but I no Longer have a choice.. I have a game plan and I have the way to get the things that i want and need in my life... right now I am buried under a number of bad decisions and having emotions spent on me on a hypotehtical after the fuckin world has crashed and burned on me twice, that's not something I need.. I am in Hell... it's time for me to be on the fucking offensive and give a little bit of that hell back to the one that inflicted it.. this is no longer a question this is a determination, there's nothing else... I'm sick of fighting.. But sometimes that's all that I fucking have left... so i fight a war.. till I'm a buried soldier.. you cannot destroy me... you can only destroy what i am.. but you will feel the fire on you before my life is over.. I promise you that.

Current Mood: determined, Depressed, Angry.
Current Music: Welcome to Hell, Venom.

Because a leader knows, it's not so hard to die for your people. It's hard to order your people to die for you. And leading with certainty into an uncertain future doesn't require sight. It requires vision. It requires holding on. And no matter what happens, never letting go.

The enemy is never more unnerving than when she's invisible.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more