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Becoming the Mask...

So Many things i want to walk away in this life and yet I stand here, standing tall and losing patience with a lot of people in my life both personal and what currently consists of my current joke of an occupation... i am very pissed off that today of all days I have to take stock rather than having a few bucks to throw in a particular direction, but i will fucking survive and before the Month's over that will be dealt with.. it's just fucking frustrating that this kinda shit happens to often, this isn't a fucking hobby to me this is the way i pay my bills.... it's all well and good when there is money flowing around into your hand but when i am mr fucking noodle for a week and i get frozen out by your mistake... and It affects me and my family.. it's getting fucking annoying... and you still haven't bothered to be a man and find my fucking child's video games that are lost somewhere at your house, you have done damage in my life and if i didn't need an income i would be walking away... i have real fucking battle's to fight, and that is coming to a head at the same time... when it's costing me money to pretend to enjoy my life, I'd rather go back to simple things like playing guitar, hanging out with people that care about me with no financial part involvement like my friends, family and my cousin's, places i can go and always know i am welcome... i have been in a dark place for a very long time and i have stayed in that dark place and i have not let the sunlight in... I'm starting to see it a little but the reality is without my friends and my social skills sometimes this world would be a lot less dark... and it is nice that i don't have to retreat into that.. it was nice both fridayt and today to spend some quality time outside of the monster i have created asd a nessary evil to be something that would deal with the world and my place in it... i'm glad that sometimes to people old and new friends alike that the real me still shine's thru and i don't have to hide behind someone i pretend to be... of course the next step here is back into the war... and this time i have to fight it and start pouring the gasoline, my world is already in flames, it's time for some other people to feel the burning heat... it's time for some people to fear and time for some people to sweat.

Current Mood: Miserable.
Current Music: Eminem, Bad Guy
I'm a fighter. I've always been a fighter. The few times when I have been at leisure, I've been miserable. I want challenges, I crave them.

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