Sometimes i wonder what is left... when i am seriously asking questions and giving directions i suddenly fucking wonder what's left.. what haven't the vultures torn from my soul... that little bit of goodness that remains is in my chest and in my heart and it's is all that i have left, the rest of my core my soul, it's consumed by hatred. I wonder if the fire of my hatred is equal to the fire of hatred in your soul...regardless of what i do in this life or what i have done I am always going to have anger and hate in my soul, there's is almost nothing else left.. why am I sitting here fighting fucking battles when all i can see at the end of the day is no fucking resolution, ever. this hell will continue, i can endure the next 7 1/2 years of this hell but why the fuck should i have to... the price of just merely survival is way too fucking high, and I would have gladly done so a few years back when I had him in my arms, now what's the point why do I bother? nothing's ever going to change... it's only going to get worse... and the reality is that this is the game... i looked into my worst fears today and the reality is nothing is being done, it's all lip service, the next thing that will happen is that she will disappear completely and then i will never get him back, and unfortunately in this bizarre game of psychotic chess that we seem to be playing that's the next move...
Current Mood: Anger and Hate.
To truly hate is an art one learns with time.
The only thing sadder than hateful people’s willingness to drag us down to their level, is our willingness to oblige.
I don’t understand hate. I’ve seen its power. I’ve known its wrath. I’ve even felt it coursing through my veins, pushing me on. But I don’t know where it comes from or why it lasts, how it can take hold in some people and grow.
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