There comes a time to stand and fight and be right and refuse to be peaceful or surrender, NO compromises and NO question of what the end goal and end Game is... It's time to stop being the man that waits for other's to finish this battle for me... it's time for me to be proactive and on the full offensive, I have the tools and i have the will and the drive, I know exactly what I am fighting for and all the personal sacrifice i have done and will done is worth that... but it's time to make people remeber i have a fucking voive in all of this and when someone starts making fucking discuisions for me, esp when they affect me negatively on a legal level and are counter productive to the entire fucking end game it's time to be a lot more fucking active.. i am not some dumb kid.. i have been that in years.. i have been fighting this war on one front since i was 8 years old... i know damn well I have issues and probaly should deal with some counselling... maybe it's time instead of being miserable and defiant i listened to one of the people i care about and did something about that.... but I know that battle and I'm fully aware i have some form of PTSD, i am fighting a war... admitting any weakness concern's me as i am afraid of openining that door for the fear that anything there could be used agianst me.. I am too close to the end for any more setbacks... the other battle i have been fighting for almost a decade, and it's only about him... but i need to close the door on the other concern before moving forward or this fucking cycle of bullshit and the waste of blind justice will continue because sheis the master manipulator, and it shouldn't be my war with her, or even a battle..... i know where when that last day comes how the black queen's last move will be... this is pyschological chess... you are fucking predictable.. but i shouldn't let the anger and hate i have towards cloud my judgement in every decision and i shouldn't wait for the cards to fall where they may... it's time to deal you the aces and eights.... there's no more time to blink.. i wanr you.. you are going to stare into the Fiery depths of Hell and take a deep look at yourself.. i dare you not to blink... when I stare thru you I won't. this is and never was about you on my end... it's always about him... sometimes i am so angry i forget that. not anymore... this is my battle, my fight... it's one of many along the pattern of my life... but this is the most important one... this is the end game... and either you stand beside me or behind me or you get the fuck out of my way.. that includes those that are making decision's for me... it's not longer a choice for me to let other's handle my fucking affiars... it's time to make sure that every decision and every chess move going into this final end game is one with my handprint and my handprint alone on it... this is a line in the sand.. it needs to be drawn.... i will not let him slip away because of careless decisions... i will not let someone else dictate what needs to be done... I know exactly what needs to be done... it has to start and end with me.......
Current Mood: Depressed, Anger, Determiniation.
In each of us, two natures are at war – the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, and one of them must conquer. But in our own hands lies the power to choose – what we want most to be we are
The fact that you are possessed by a demon does not mean you must become evil. Being evil is a choice, just as being good is a choice. If you let the demon take over, it's because you choose to.
You speak as if this is a good world with a little evil in it. Rubbish. It's a hellish one where the best a man can do is put a little sanity back and look after his own.
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