There are things in my life i don't like and some peoples expectations of me are sometimes enough to set me on an even darker path than the one I am already on, sometimes when that happens i lash out in anger and wrath, that Is the person I am, i have so much bottled up and under control that when something happens that I can control in terms of relationships i do tend to go for the knee jerk reaction of standing alone and telling everyone else to fuck off... at this late stage of the game i don't have much need for emotional turmoil or bullshit and sometimes words cut deep and people don't realize just how deep. I know I am guilty of it too. but it is who I am, while I apologize for my actions and reactions, I will not apologize for who I am.. i have things in my life I hate but they are necessary evils until everything at the end of the game is done.... I fucking hate all this plastic shit cluttering up my house and i hate even more that my housekeeping skills suck.... one wonders if maybe it is time for all these material things once gone to stay gone and i should be more careful with what I want and what i choose to buy and own... maybe more money should be spent on guitars and tattos and future planning than trying to just have more materialistic crap that i will eventually lose interest in.. like these fucking transformers... the reality is he will have more interest in his Ouya his uncle bought for me as a christmas gift and his various nintendo's and portable than any toy i can give me at age 10 or 11...it's time to reeavulate these things and take care of myself and be a better person so i can be a better dad to him... it's time to be resolute and finish things and change some of my bad habits...being a better person is part of that.
Current Mood: Angry, Sad.
He is a man of courage who does not run away, but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.
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