Four fucking years, this is getting ridiculous, we are almost at the point where the date of this hell beginning in april 2011 and I am having Insane fucking arguments with someone who has been nothing more than a fucking detriment to the entire case and has no emotional relationship to the case at all, I fucking hate dealing with robots, esp. robots that refuse to admit they have made mistakes... I am at war, If I have to go it alone then I will, I have no Qualms about that, It's my battle to Lose, Something that I will never fucking Allow. it gets frustrating when those that are supposedly on my side legally just allow things to continue to languish and do nothing. A;; the fucking planning and moving ahead in my quest to restore things to their natural order mean nothing when so called allies are not truly on my side, And to be engaged in an argument for someone Else's mistakes and Being bullied by a person with no emotional involvement in the case is very frustrating, here's a sad fact tho.. I am Intimidating and I CAN MAKE MY VOICE HEARD AND FEARED, just because I have chosen to fight my battle logically and not allowed emotions to be the defining force guiding my actions doesn't mean they are not so far buried that If needed I couldn't release them and become someone I'm not Afraid of being, Not being the person I was anymore means very little when I know a little bit of that angry, violent person still resides inside and If I need to release him soon, it would be very easy too, I'm so fucking sick of being the patient one, the ethical one, the one who waits, It would be so much easier to become the fucking barbarian street kid I used to be and Use every ounce of my anger to break thru walls and get what I want, maybe sometimes I need to let the tamed animal inside free and Show just how red my rage can be and let it overtake instead of being this patient person who is always waiting, This is a war and A battle for someone's soul and it isn't mine. These fucking idiots need to realize that or they will be replaced. I'm just sick of paying for everything and doing everything for this case and nothing seems to ever get done. If no one is on my side i can and will carry on the battle alone, but it is getting fucking ridiculous that after four years almost nothing has been done, whats going on In my little guys mind? I promise that he will be given a complete account of everything when shit is said and done, and He can hate me for whatever reasons, but he will know i never gave up EVER, and even if he does hate me, I think I won't be the only one He hates. But I'm sick of this, stuck behind enemy lines fighting a lunatic who is playing the system and either No one Understands, Or no One cares... More than likely... But I won't give up, I'll make em care.
Current Mood: Angry
Current Music: Eminem, Monster
We all have bad things inside us, and we all choose either to give in to those bad things or to fight them.
The reason for evil in the world is that people are not able to tell their stories.
“Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more then Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.
There are only two forces at work in this world- black and white. Only people are grey.
I know there’s evil in the world, and there always has been. But you don’t need to believe in Satan or demons to explain it. Human beings are perfectly capable of evil all by themselves.
Be the hero of your children’s story. Never let them believe for a minute that honor, courage and doing what is right is only reserved for other fathers and mothers.
Even after the stormiest weather, a true warrior will still reflect the brilliant rays of the magnificent sun through both his or her eyes. You may get hit by sudden lighting or take severe beatings from the cruel wind, but you will always get back up and stand strong on your feet again, soak in the sunlight, and be prepared to get hit by even the most merciless hail - time and time again.
You may hate the war, but never hate the ones that fight. For they do not choose when or where to fight. All they chose was to protect who they love and even the people they don't know.
Cowards hide but warriors lie and wait the only difference is whether you're motivated by fear or purpose.
A calm warrior will always overcome an opponent fighting on pure emotion. A warrior spellbound with emotion only feels the battle, leaving himself unable to think and strategize while the red haze of fury clouds his mind.
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