You're the hunter, the warrior. You're stronger than anyone else here, that's your tragedy.
Once agian the Stall Mindgames are contuining and the fact that I am being relied to provide documents and things that I know will not be released is frustrating, The war continues and now I have to fight the system once agian, even tho it should be a part of the story in the past.... either I divorce myself from the situation and Let the Lawyer deal with the situation or I be my usual asshole Hulk Smash self and do what I usually do and kick down a few doors to get some answers, But for the life of me i am so fucking tired of fighting and being the only person on my side. doing the right thing and never getting anything for it is so fucking frustrating, I am sick of being the only voice out there for his interests, It's a role I'll play till I die or he comes of age or both. but I am sick of always staring into the abyss, an abyss I know better than my own face, I don't understand at all why my life is constantly tied to the system, and More than that I do understand why people stall and put brakes into the system when they have conflict's of interest... Most including myself come into the system with expectations to do good, but often most of us become slaves to the system, I have enough demons when it comes to the system, I almost wonder if my reluctance to go back to work, to go back to the only thing other than being a father and/or selling toys that I have ever been good at.. is the fact that I no Longer know If i can be a good child and youth worker, because I am not afraid of the system, they should be afraid of me.. But i am frustrated by the fact that Moment after moment, Second after second, even after they have been removed from the equation they are constantly contuining to be involved... this is a battle agianst her, other than that there is no court order and Everything involved with the system should not continue to be a factor, But of course, Sin's that aren't mine... are still going to come to the forefront.. and continue to damn me, OR at least stall the winding gears of time... the days tick, tick, tock, to the end.... an end i fear i can no longer see and worse than that, for every victory I still feel as I'm losing.... I fought the system, those documents should be enough, I fight her. for his soul. But i am so very fucking weary of the fight, the fight I am sick of, The fight I'll Never stop fighting as long as the black hole that used to be a heart beats in my chest. The War.
Current Mood: Angry.
Warriors should suffer their pain silently.
Anger has its place, but it will not serve you here, the way of the warrior is the way of knowing. Of that knowledge requires you to use anger, then you use anger, but you cannot wrest forth knowledge by losing your temper.
A true warrior does not train tirelessly to fight, or to kill. A true warrior trains endlessly that he may return home alive
Even after the stormiest weather, a true warrior will still reflect the brilliant rays of the magnificent sun through both his or her eyes. You may get hit by sudden lighting or take severe beatings from the cruel wind, but you will always get back up and stand strong on your feet again, soak in the sunlight, and be prepared to get hit by even the most merciless hail - time and time again.
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