I am frustrated today by my own decisions as much as I have been Happy as of late.... I still need to account for my decisions and own up to my responsibilities I have undertaken, Both here and at home... I spent last night frustrated and angry and upset and it was all inward because i felt like i had failed, not just in the moment but completely. I'm supposed to be the strong one and the one who protects others but when a mistake is made and I can't do that, I'm very upset and Angry at myself and knowing that I couldn't protect and/or prevent what happens plays with my mindspace because whether or not it's 5 years or 5 minutes ago, I failed in being the protective one and let something happen, and while I am very very happy at the moment there is someone missing who would fit in right here with us like a glove and he is very sadly missed. I'm just frustrated at myself, No matter how content i have been for the last few weeks with the new turn in my life... I am doing what i can and soon the battle will be over and regardles of the situation and the end i know that My world may or may not end, but that's not a surprise because I can always rebuild if i have to.. he's not being replaced, and he never will be but that black hole inside my chest is starting to heal a little bit and i'm not as dark a soul as i've been the last few years, I'm starting to see some light at the end of my tunnel and some light in my personal life.... and a lot of that has to do with who i surround myself with and some of the choices i have made recently... If you want to be happy be... and right now that's what I'm trying to do... escape the darkness.
Current Mood: Frustrated.
The time for a person to instantly interact with his own soul, inspect his own mind and introspect with his own heart to identify his true quality of life is when too many people are too happy with him and he, too, is too much happy with them.
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