Skip to main content

Numb.....

I don't know right Now how to feel, somethings missing and all I feel is numb, all i have been used to for the last few days is my best freind beside me and now he's gone and it will be a little while before i see him agian, the bedrock that is our freindship is only stregthened by these experinces and it was nice to have things that i have become jaded and bored with, seen through another mans eyes, reexamining my own views and realizing the marvels that are out there in my own backyard that seem commonplace to me, they are wonders to others.. I am glad you have taught me that... I just wish that It could have been longer and that you never left.. I miss have my partner in crime to do dumb shit with.. I just feel so fucking Numb.. I cannot imagine how you have been feeling.. there are so many experinces and conversations i swear i could talk to you for days and learn so much from you, and the feeling is so mutual, and it's just this perfect thing.. this perfect freindship because in the end, all that matters is that you have stood beside me as my freind.. I wish you hadn't gone.. i want you to come back. I miss you already. The pictures and experinces we have had will last a lifetime and I cannot wait to make hundreds more.... I wish our responsibilities didn't chain us to the lives we currently lead but there will come a day of reckoning for both of us.. and while i have never regretted any of the paths i chose.. Not making the decision to abandon Canada for greener pastures across the pond.. Is something today, I deeply regretted.. If it wasn't for the one thing keeping me rooted, I would have been long gone a long time ago... vancouver, england.... somewhere... I'm finally allowing myself to feel agian and it feels like another peice of my soul has been ripped out chunk by boring chunk, because one of the true men in this world, one man who has always had my back, is gone... back home.. so very far away. i got so used to having you by my side.. and now you're not and I'm just Numb.

Current Mood: Numb.
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there....

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more