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Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.




Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. 


I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. 


The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. 


I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. 


I’m not going to pretend to keep things together just so that anyone can be comfortable. I have enough issues with a person I choose to care for and about who doesn’t see the world outside his Fuckin front door and it’s all about him 100 percent of the fucking time. I do things because it’s a distraction from that or with him to get him out of his self imposed shell. But it’s real interesting when someone sits there and complicates the issue. I need an escape for a week this year. That’s non negotiable. I am going away. I don’t give a fuck if you come with me. I can go visit my fucking freinds in Alberta all alone. 


I’m going to always be in control, but when I feel like I’m being manipulated esp with what little finances I have… I’ll withdraw. 


Idgaf if it ruins my summer plans.


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