Skip to main content

Loyalty.



The last man standing in the universe. I always thought that would be me.


I sit here and I don’t know what the next step in my life is. I’ve settled into a creature comfort where it’s status quo but it’s not my life. I’m just doing the right thing to escape drama and to not be in same old behaviours and traps. This has been a harder winter than most. And a lot of fucking things are being established.  I know my worth, I know the worth of those around me and who I chose to have in my life. The problem is, I’m not sure who is currently on the level and cares and who is a means to there own end. 


My life doesn’t stop when certain people are involved in my life for a hot minute. I still have to deal with the day to day of taking care of another person I care about… and I have responsibilities to others whether she likes it or not…I know for sure I sure as hell don’t. 


That being said. I do for the people that have always have had my back. That’s my word. That’s what loyalty is.


Some of the people in orbit around my solar system should eventually realize that before they just simply become a constellation. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...