Skip to main content

Scorched Earth



When I decide to burn a bridge I fucking dynamite it, there is no looking back or forgiveness because when I destroy something it stays destroyed. I don’t just burn the bridge I annihilate it. And i do it with no remorse and no regret. I’m a fucking Phoenix and always have been. I’m an agent of chaos not order and I destroy things it’s in my nature. When I choose to do it deliberately look out. There may be collateral damage, but at this point I don’t care or give a damn. There is already collateral damage on my side. It’s just karma if it affects someone else negatively too.


Burn it all down, I’ve always had a scorched earth policy because it’s easy to start over with nothing. Than to use people or even still have them in my life when I don’t like or respect them. Just gone and fire and burn. Napalm destroys everything. 


I only like or respect those that are good to me and have proved there loyalty when I have nothing to offer. When i feel used or am being used I will walk the fuck away without a second thought. I didn’t even want to bother with last weekend and I am definitely feeling used. But that’s absolutely fine. It’s a learning lesson and it’s a pathetic joke. I don’t need it in my life so it’s completely simple just to walk away completely. It’s not the first time in my life I’ve walked away from something I like and enjoy. It will not be the last fuckin time either I’m sure.


There are other issues and this whole thing is starting to become and anchor agian. The same way it used to a decade ago. When something stops being fun, it simply stops being done. I’ve been here before. I will be here agian. 


I have my own fucking battles to fight. I’m not fighting anyone else’s or being a target by your enemies and everyone you want to transfer your bullshit onto me and make me the bad guy. I’m fine with being the villian but only for my own purposes. It no longer fits into the plan for me to take the knives in the back when I have done nothing wrong except be guilty by association. 


I have enough issues and drama at home and with my family members in the falls to be bothering with anyone else’s selfishness and drama. Plus what I am dealing with it in my head. I’ve tried to be patient and nice but it’s no longer worth it and/or wanted. I’ll do what I always have done and move on and go my own way and I’ll be better for it. 


This is the way. It’s what is best for business and what’s best for my mental health. I’m sick of always doing the right thing for people that barely know my name. It’s time to do what is right for those that are actually close to me and care about my well being. Period. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...