Wanting me to stay but telling me to push away all my freinds. That will fucking happen. over your petty jealousy.these are the people that kept me alive when my whole world fell apart. I may love you But this particular condition is a bridge too far. I will always choose those that were loyal to me.
You fucked off for your own personal reasons and left me in the wilderness for two fucking decades. Just because outside reasons had me fucking forgive you, doesnt mean I have forgotten the scar you placed upon all our lives..
You dont deserve the right to choose my freinds I get to care for... and I would never sacrifice them just to be with you. I feel things deeply, but this time all I feel is the darkest taint of the usual betrayal. You dont get to dictate terms, neither of us won. Both of us lost the war. This is simply the aftermath, its barely even detente. We just stumble on to oblivion.
I'm done fighting your battles and being miserable myself because of it. I cant simply quietly be in orbit. I have my own life, my own responsibilities and my own battles to fight. I also have great fucking freinds and adventures constantly. It doesn't take an idiot to realize that there is jealousy there.
I want you in my life desperately but not at the expense of these other things that have and had made me whole. You ask too much.
You made your choices in this life to push away, not me... now you are jealous I have other interests and things to do. I always had things to do, I was just on a diffrent path back then and I thought I could do them with you later.
You resent me for that, its understandable. But I gave up all of it, for years, to fight for what was and still is the right thing. You took me out of your lives. Not the other way around
.
Im still here, I'm still fighting. But I cannot do your petty jealousys anymore.
Wake me when you decide its time to play grown up and you respect and trust me that I won't betray you ever the way you did me.
I want you to stay, but only on my terms. You dont get to take everyone else that matters to me away. We've tried that once. It didn't work out for you.
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