it's been a wonderufully stressful few days, there are days when all i want to do is just relax and let the world pass me by... but of course i have to work.. it is a good thing i have my particular mindset with my job as the last twenty four hours have been trying with my carreer and has led to some serious depression and questioning of the next move in terms of my carrer. I defintly love my job and what i am doing there but i have had to break one of the most sacred of oaths that i promised myself more often than i would have liked to have done so. obviously i see reasons for this and i have a better understanding of their and my own behaviors as a child but still it is something that i deal with inner anger towards myself for letting it escalate to that position and depression and survivors guilt, the world is a fucking awful place and i have to remind myself that there are good parents and people that care to balance out the fuckups that don't know how to parent society's kids. all these little guys need is someone to be there and someone to care and understand them and I am doing that, I just need to remind myself of this point sometimes as it is sometimes hard to see the angels and demons and understand the how and why. I have the training, i have resorces to deal with when i get frustrated and i Love my job. it's just one of those things that i have to get used to so i don't burn out or end up with damage to my mental health, i will figure it out. i wanted it and i have it... i'm not going anywhere.
We're all born upon the cross
The throw before the toss
You can release yourself
But the only way is down
We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
Current Mood: Happy, Little man in 4 hours
Comments