It's been a frustrating morning. there are some serious questions which one must ask oneself about my supposed chosen career. I am not happy that i gave up this weekend to find out I was not needed, if it had been any other weekend than mother's day i would have had serious ethical issues about being asked to make myself availible this weekend. At least this way i can figure out what i'm doing about the new apartment but i'm still not impressed at the way i was treated about the weekend. whatever. I'm not in a place to say to say anything but there is a reason i am still seeking employment Full time elsewhere. I'm not even sure if I'd take full time here. I do not like the fact i'm second guessing myself and getting too involved emotionally with this place if i am merely a stop gap measure and i will not see any permanence here. I would like to be able to plan for my future and not be living week to week and pay cheque to paycheque as i have been, i'm starting to really consider the fact i'm not making much more than i was at subway and the stress levels involved, esp. when one makes a minor mistake when dealing with major incidents... but then agian thats the nature of the beast. Part of this self doubt is the fact that I have other carreer choices and maybe it's time to expand and consider them before i end up stuck in a place that is playing havoc with interpersonal realtionships important to me outside of work (i.e. my 5 year old son.), affecting my current Living arrangements... (if i don't know if i have a shift how do i decide to move.).. and all these other things that could or would cause burnout to happen, I honestly think this is the Job i am meant for but days like todday make it very easy for one to be disillusioned rather easily... espically when one is given reason to question his actions immediatly after an issue rather than given a little bit of time to deal with the situation and defuse. Of course shit happens.... you just have to deal with it, clean it up, and move on and remeber everything by keeping it in your back pocket.
Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt.
Current Mood: Pissed Off.
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