Skip to main content

Black & White


One is learning to balance the darker sides of one's self issues and behaviors by moderating everything that one does including the sleep and the drink.. but it is ridiculous when one has to deal with nonsense after an agreement has been made and the person who made the fucking agreement decides a few days later to not honour it and then decides to get into a screaming match with me after i've worked a fucking long saturday shift... at this point i am hoping i can the apartment in the north end and begone from the hellhole where me and the little one currently reside... a decade ago one owuld have smashed holes into the walls and smashed every window... she is very lucky i am no longer that person... i don't like being judged for something i'm not becuase on my freetime and in my work life i may not confirm to everyone's perfect little life... 1. In free time i dress as i choose. 2. I work a midnight shift so my freetime hours are diffrent than others and complaining that the tv is on low all night is fucking bullshit.... i don't sleep nights if i have to go to work the next night you moron. but of course this is why i'm moving and why i'm done with her... hopefully tommorow i will have good news about the new place.

Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Current Mood: Disillusioned.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more