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Relapse.... Part two.


SO yeah.. interesting day yesterday.. the mindfuck continues, i am starting to understand how little i was fucked up in comparison... some of these things i am seeing and the issues i am having bleed thru my fingers when i clock out are confusing but relaistic.. this is exactly where i need to be, personal issues aside when i step between those doors, it's go time the red lighht is on and i'm on the spot. Time to man up and take it...there are things here i don't understand but i must try to.. i know that i'm a damn good worker but having these new experinces that i have never had to deal with before is an eyeopener. a lesser man would not be able to handle it... the world isn't a fair place.....

and another thing... anyone who wants to rant about how i kick back on my off hours and enjoy myself does not need to be part of my life... there are reason's i lose myself inside a bottle because otherwise i can't sleep some nights.. if you truly knew the demons i deal with and the demons that are piggybacking themselves onto me because i can't just leave work at the door you'd know the reason the insomnia is affecting me without the drink. i need to sleep. there are many things that i have to deal with now and it is a release. i can't just leave work at the fucking door and go home and pretend every thing is fucking hunky dory. i do not drink around my child or anyone i am resposnsible for or on a day i have to go back to work... i will recluse myself from that particular idea.. shit i don't drink till 3 pm, not a drop because i am afraid of being called in.

Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Music: Kick the Chair, Megadeth

I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There's no in between. People will either love you for it or hate you for it.
Eminem

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