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DISASSOCIATIVE


One is beginning to wonder when the dream becomes a disease... i cannot find balance and recharge my batteries without going back into work for what is supposed to be the relaxed shift without dealing with a shitstorm, i am becoming very fucking stressed out and being chewed out immediatley after or in the middle of a crisis is not healthy for my mental health or theirs, either i do too much or i'm not doing too much... there is no balance here and i am starting to feel it's an unsafe enviorment, and No I'm not talking about me. i am very glad i am aware there other options out there in other homes and i am intending to continue to persue them , there is a reason i'm interviewing in burlington i'm not going to burn out fast or fade away at this job... if there is something better out there it may hurt but i am starting to feel that may eventually be a better option... I am trying my hardest but i am starting to feel like a peon... and i know how that feels on a regular basis... i don't want it to start happeneing agian...and i don't like being treated like i'm expendable when i work 66 fucking hours every week recently. IF i'm Useless why do you constantly call me in for shifts, of course the problem is not with me it's with everything there and the cracks are beginning to show. i was hoping this would be a happy rather than a dark update today but as usual it's not.. and i'm feeling that way, i wonder how they feel and are meant to feel by others... hopefully one day there's a light at the end of the tunnel but right now all I see are walls meant for protection crumbling under years of neglect.

Current Mood: Bad.

Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici... "By the power of truth I, while living, have conquered the universe".

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