Skip to main content

World War Hulk.


We are agian not fucking impressed. nothing like picking up my pay to see my hours have been fucking cut back agian... i guess i know exactly where i stand on the pathetic political totem pole, fuckers. I have the desire to be there but i have to consider my own child and working myself to death and not seeing him is hell, esp. when all he does on saturday night is attach himself to the hip till 2 am and refuse to sleep in his own bed. I don't think i'm going to sacrifice any more weekends for this job.. this is getting pathetic. my next paycheque won't even cover the bills.. what a fucking joke... i should really start thinking about quitting. there are other options and I need to start looking into them, it's not becoming a choice anymore. i have my reasons. i have passion and desire for this job but I am not going to let my life be affected by bad decsion making and If i have to be unemployed for a month or two agian it's better than the uncertainity of when and if another shift is going to be taking away. I had 35 hours in two weeks.. what kind of fucking cosmic joke is that? I have a kid to feed, an ex wife to give child support to and i have to feed myself... fuck I can go out to Windsor to busk for the weekend and make more fucking money than that.. I am seriously fucking questioning my future here... what the hell do i do... I'm looking forward to the cardboard box while everything goes into storage... go figure Story of my life... Nothing's ever certain and once i find some stabilty it all comes crashing down... maybe i should just walk away from everything and find a new path.. disapeer. Maybe i should.. it's not like i am being removed from everything important in my life in st. catherines anyways... sacrifice means nothing when certian people don't give a damn...of course she's gonna drain the wallet anyways.

Current Mood: Angry, hopeless, unsure, betrayed.
Current Music: Rhianna, Disturbia.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more