Your Ontario town is a Burial Ground II

I can't feel a fucking thing, seeing how people aren't bothering to answer my phone calls at work about next months schedule i think the next decision is going to be made for me, i can't afford to eat, take care of my kid and pay the rent.. i'm sick and tired of being in this life I am in, the world and my outlook on it all look black to me, i'm souless, the dreams have become demons and all i can feel is the passage of time and it's leaving me behind, i alomst wonder decisions i once made for a purpose have they damned me, so much for being recharged, if the game continues to be played and i find myself unemployed and homeless maybe i'll just fade away, when there is only one thing that matters and thank god he had soccer this weekend, there's only him and not much else left for me, i think it's time to go, this city no longer exsists to me, it's not a happy place, the wounds are not healing here they are becoming infected. I need to be somewhere else, somewhere healthier. we shall see what tommorow brings.

Current Mood: Nothing.
Current Music: CanTspeak, Danzig.
Death never takes the wise man by surprise; He is always ready to go.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Forgive, Not Forget.

Things arent what they once were. not with anyone. nothing is taken on faith or trust anymore. Trust and being trustworthy is an absent concept to too many in my life. so instead of caring i think I'll just withdraw and simply not trust anyone. it worked so much simpler for decades of years. every time i let my guard down people fucking disappoint me. so its time for that to stop. I'm pretty sick of peoples petty jealousy's and drama affecting my life. Ill stand alone its what i have always done. i don't mind doing it agian. everything in my life is an adventure. some are just better than others. I've done alone my entire life, i don't need an ensemble cast to be me. and i don't need hangers on, either be my freind or be cast aside. if you're fucking two faced i will eventually find out. Im not playing politics or stupid little drama games with those i actually care about. mere acquaintance even less. I've got no fucking problem standing alone in a s...

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