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Dried Up, Tied And Dead To The World


It's official I am not on the schedule for the month of June but their might be some shifts for me, obviously it's time for me to make other arrangements instead of limping along at a mickey mouse organization. I can No longer Entertain the thought of the other options i have been thinking about for a while, such as Windsor... I do not want my son to suffer as a result of my job. When i may have to use my last months rent just to be able to stay financially stable this month the fact i have this job is a fucking joke. i can no longer see a future here and going into arrears for the month every fucking month when i know there are more affordable options out there makes me think about it.... i can't see tomorrow anymore at this job and am feeling used up... a year and a half of loyalty and I'm basically being cast aside... that's fine... but i can't say that I'll be as willing in the next month or the summer to keep things status quo.

Current Mood: Depressed
In the democracy of the dead all men at last are equal. There is neither rank nor station nor prerogative in the republic of the grave.

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