Skip to main content

Arkham City

I don't know what i'm still doing in Hamilton, I don't know what i'm fucking doing with my life, any time i seem to get ahead in life things fall apart and start spiraling down the tubes, it's like i was defined by things i did as a fucking child and they won't let go.... I dealt with my demons a long time ago but people keep bringing them back up like the bile of an Eldritch abomination, I love my son and i will do anything for him but I don't know how much longer i can keep going on like this, When i am staring at the same dark path everyday and realizes one day that this will all be over one way or another and I just see the same thing over and over and it's not just my life, or my career that's over it's everything... destroyed with one action, I am so in disbelief that the system failed me so badly and now they are just covering their ass, Shit that happened when i was a kid should not define me my entire fucking life.... and my son's... why haven't they looked into her insanity? why was everything that was good about me stripped from me without acknowledgement? because it's easier to destroy a man than it is to vindicate an Innocent man, esp. if theirs a dark and troubled past.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Insanity is often the logic of an accurate mind overtasked.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it.