Skip to main content

Unforgiven VIII

I need to start doing something With my life, I am a lot fucking more than the sum of my collective history, people that can only see the child i was 20+ years ago should really take the rose coloured glasses off, My experinces have shaped me, affected me and altered me... But i struggled long and hard to be a better person and better parent as well, i am sick of being judged for one singluar moment in time and having that said past once shared by someone i thought i could love and even trust be twisted into what it has become, the long wait grows shorter every fucking day and soon things will hopefully be back to normal... but i will never forget, it's pretty sad that my experinces in the group home and in my life have confirmed what i always thought, once a product of the system your are always going to be damaged goods and a product of the system and it is something that can be used agianst, that being said I am a very smart individual and i know how to use my experinces, my pain and my drive to attain positive goals and to fight battles, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, and within this chest.. for that little boy.... is a heart that will never die, never fail and never stop fighting, i worked very hard for him to not have my life and If someone wants to turn me and/or him into a self fuffiling prophecy because she is upset with her own life, i will have no part of it.. but I will never fucking back down... ever, it's not in the blood.

Current Mood: Determined.
The past can't hurt you anymore. Not unless you let it. They made you into a victim,They made you into a statistic. But, that's not the real you. That's not who you are inside.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...
Post a Comment
Read more