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Unforgiven VIII

I need to start doing something With my life, I am a lot fucking more than the sum of my collective history, people that can only see the child i was 20+ years ago should really take the rose coloured glasses off, My experinces have shaped me, affected me and altered me... But i struggled long and hard to be a better person and better parent as well, i am sick of being judged for one singluar moment in time and having that said past once shared by someone i thought i could love and even trust be twisted into what it has become, the long wait grows shorter every fucking day and soon things will hopefully be back to normal... but i will never forget, it's pretty sad that my experinces in the group home and in my life have confirmed what i always thought, once a product of the system your are always going to be damaged goods and a product of the system and it is something that can be used agianst, that being said I am a very smart individual and i know how to use my experinces, my pain and my drive to attain positive goals and to fight battles, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, and within this chest.. for that little boy.... is a heart that will never die, never fail and never stop fighting, i worked very hard for him to not have my life and If someone wants to turn me and/or him into a self fuffiling prophecy because she is upset with her own life, i will have no part of it.. but I will never fucking back down... ever, it's not in the blood.

Current Mood: Determined.
The past can't hurt you anymore. Not unless you let it. They made you into a victim,They made you into a statistic. But, that's not the real you. That's not who you are inside.

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