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Wasting Away,

I don't understand what the fuck I ever left Windsor for, kraft dinner and pickles and to have my entire life destroyed, It's not just enough to be poor but to be so pathetically poor i can't even afford a coffee? It's pretty sad when you are broken down to a point where you are basically just at a functional level and there's not much left within you to keep going other than sheer determination and drive, this is exactly what Is wanted tho, for me to be at wits and ready to fucking surrender, yet there is a whole thing of being an option that I cannot and will not ever do that, It's just fucking sad...I should have options out there instead of just sitting around waiting for the next day and the day after that.... soon very soon I am going to leave Hamilton for an extended time, right about fucking now i have some serious questions about returning, I don't know how much longer i can survive with my heart ripped out and having to survive on food i wouldn't even feed a dog on a daily basis, anywhere else i go wouldn't be the fucking suburbs i could survive, but here is home, this is where i'm supposed to be, and it will take a lot more to break me down, but it would have been so easy just to pack shit up and disappear, but then again, that would mean this is about me, which it isn't.... There are levels of survival I am prepared to accept.

Current Mood: Angry.
Because our choices are largely based on survival. But if life is eternal, life is not a question.

Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope.


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