I am becoming a happier person even tho Sunday was probaly one of the most depressing fucking days of my life... all these Happy memories eradicated because of one person's selfishness.. but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am prepared for the final battle, I just need to look around me and see who is a good person in my life and who isn't. it's not about who I am, it's not about who I used to be. it's too bad that one person can't see past her highly imaginary self centered view of life to care about anyone but herself. that's what hurts the most... Missing memories really get's into my head and I know damn well that i'm not the only one hurting because of it... in fact i'm not even the most important one hurting as a result... but the pain still stings. it's time for me to get what needs to be done and change things and bring things back to the reality that they need to be and not this reality that has been created. There are a lot of times I want to give up and go somewhere back to somewhere that's safe and secure for my mindspace, where you don't get to occupy space Like Windsor... and that's always an escape option that I keep in my back pocket like a parachute... But the current reality is that I have to fight this battle until it's over, or he's of age... whichever comes first... I am not about to abandon him because of petty little games and selfishness... I will suffer here than be Happy elsewhere. I always have the back door back into a Life without Him, But without Him that Life is merely Fucking empty.
Current Mood: Sad,Angry, Determined.
All men have limits. They learn what they are and learn not to exceed them. I ignore mine.
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