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The War Machine..

I am not happy with trying to do the right thing and trying to get assitance and things accomplished and deal with these people that I need to deal with, and then have the enemy issue direct threats... at this point it's time to get a lawyer even if I have to sell my fucking soul to the devil...i'm not dealing with direct threats and I am trying to get all the information and all of the things that need to get done... It's about that little boy nothing else, and everyone but me seems to have other things on their mind... It's going to be a wonderful day one day when that child hates the system as bitterly as I do when he comes to me and asks what the hell happened in his life and I have to explain that It was the sins of my past not even as an adult but in my own childhood that damaged his....and his mother's crazed search for revenge against me, I have no idea what I ever did to anger her so except walk away when it was clear she was poison to my life... I am Sick of standing tall with no real assistance from anyone, I am slowly breaking down, I am used to fighting and standing tall but i am so damn tired of doing so, i starve some days when priorities are not coffee and food, because other important needs like travel and paperwork come first... Again, just like everything in my life, I'm Used to Surviving on nothing or little than nothing.. this isn't the first time it won't be the last the way things are going... I am so tired of the battle and Trying to remain tall when my back and my soul is broken.... somehow I find the last little bit of endurance within my soul to keep going, but days like today when All i encounter is bullshit, threats and direct fucking brick walls in my path it becomes that much harder... esp. when i know I have alternatives like saying fuck it and going home to windsor or just completely walking away from Hamilton and Niagara altogether and never looking back... If it wasn't for the one pure innocent Soul involved in all this, I would... but instead I keep fighting.. NO Matter What.

Current Mood: Angry.
You ever notice how sometimes you come across somebody you just shouldn't have fucked with? Well, that's me.

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