Skip to main content

The War Machine..

I am not happy with trying to do the right thing and trying to get assitance and things accomplished and deal with these people that I need to deal with, and then have the enemy issue direct threats... at this point it's time to get a lawyer even if I have to sell my fucking soul to the devil...i'm not dealing with direct threats and I am trying to get all the information and all of the things that need to get done... It's about that little boy nothing else, and everyone but me seems to have other things on their mind... It's going to be a wonderful day one day when that child hates the system as bitterly as I do when he comes to me and asks what the hell happened in his life and I have to explain that It was the sins of my past not even as an adult but in my own childhood that damaged his....and his mother's crazed search for revenge against me, I have no idea what I ever did to anger her so except walk away when it was clear she was poison to my life... I am Sick of standing tall with no real assistance from anyone, I am slowly breaking down, I am used to fighting and standing tall but i am so damn tired of doing so, i starve some days when priorities are not coffee and food, because other important needs like travel and paperwork come first... Again, just like everything in my life, I'm Used to Surviving on nothing or little than nothing.. this isn't the first time it won't be the last the way things are going... I am so tired of the battle and Trying to remain tall when my back and my soul is broken.... somehow I find the last little bit of endurance within my soul to keep going, but days like today when All i encounter is bullshit, threats and direct fucking brick walls in my path it becomes that much harder... esp. when i know I have alternatives like saying fuck it and going home to windsor or just completely walking away from Hamilton and Niagara altogether and never looking back... If it wasn't for the one pure innocent Soul involved in all this, I would... but instead I keep fighting.. NO Matter What.

Current Mood: Angry.
You ever notice how sometimes you come across somebody you just shouldn't have fucked with? Well, that's me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more