Skip to main content

Endless War...

Another day, Another battle.. the same fucking One. this is what My life has came to.. my entire life is fucking poison to everyone around me.. maybe i should stop having hopes and dreams of returning to what for me passes for a normal life... and just go live like a fucking hermit... or better yet.. I've had the abyss staring into me for so long it's still staring back.. just fade away.... I'm Done with the burning Out, Sick of fighting and always losing, yet every fucking time that I do, I always get back up stronger and Continue fighting, the fire, the phoniex, But somehow everytime i get back up from being knocked down just a little stronger I end up feeling weaker and even more sicker of fighting, but i will not let anyone else be affected because of me and my life.. i will choose to walk away, that is the story of my life... Wherever I may roam, it's better not to make attachments and fight my battles alone... it's something that I have had to do my entire life... But I know where the current War starts and Ends, A sea Of complacency is the reason I have not done more in the last little while and people around me are being affected, it's time agian to be on the attack, the battle is never fought on the sidelines... you have to take it to them.

Current Mood: Angry, Determined.
Current Music: Slayer - Seasons In The Abyss

A distant enemy is always preferable to one at the gate

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more