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Back to Darkness.


You don't need me, you never did. It's fucking time I learned to live with that. I am fine with my life choices right now. I found peace in my world a long time ago and I almost wonder if you're only reason for involving you're self in my life at this point is to disrupt that peace and attempt to control me. That's not going to fucking happen. First I like being chaotic, two my choices good or fucking bad are always going to remain my own. I don't let anyone control me and I don't back down from anyone. 22 years almost you've known this. I won't come over to you, you have to come to me and you're recent actions probably make that clear that it's not going to happen any time, you want me angry, you want me jealous... in my estimation. You don't exist to me right now...  you ask why I never fought for you? Because you make it easy to walk the fuck away and forget you exist. You've constantly done it to me so why wouldn't I do the same to you.


When I think of you all I see is anger right now... you hurt and wounded me so many fucking times... yet I know I'll still answer that call when it happens... I need to break that habit... I need to go back to hating you again. It's clear that you only need me when you need me, never when I needed you.  And that's just it, I've never needed you, I never will.


I value my independence far too much to ever be what you wanted and that's just it. You can't live in my world, and I do not want to fucking live in yours. I never did. I just wanted you, I didn't want you're world. I still don't. You have only thing I want, and that's no longer you're decision. He's a man. He'll figure everything out one day.

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