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To Hell And Back...





Part of the hardest thing of loving someone who also has the same ptsd mental health issues that I have is that while we always be the constant for each other, and we have shared some of the same battles and a lot of the same fucking pain... it's that we always will remain damaged and bad for each other... a simple match flame, the wrong word and we are back in the war agian.


I understood this... I know why both of us are damaged and broken.... it's why I chose to walk away. You brought me back that was you're choice...


I was at peace... then I found the part of me inside that loved and trusted you once... now all that remains of that moment is Anger and mistrust... some of that is deliberate and some of that is self defensive mechanisms we have taught each other... some of those mechanisms are self destruct mechanisms, we are better together against the world but we have gotten so old and so bitter that we feel that it's better to be alone without each other...


I wish I didn't understand the real reasons why....

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